the last day.

i sent them off for their last day of school this morning. today, it made me proud to watch them go. this year, more than ever, i think they have grown tremendously. and as they walked across the street and got on the bus, they seemed as if they had grown years since that the very first day last august. they are not so little anymore.  and although there is a part of me that is so sad seeing my babies growing up, i have this strong sense of gratitude and love for who they are becoming.

it hit me more than ever on mother's day. they gave me cards and stories in their own words. they were so grown up, telling me to find beauty in the day, and to shine and be proud. and elle even wrote "i love you so much i want to cry." at that moment i realized, how grown up they really are and they totally get the unconditional love between mother and child. they know that this bond will never diminish wherever life takes us. they know that i love being a mother and i take so much pleasure in being at home with them. i love watching them as they cross the street to get on the school bus each morning and anxiously wait for them as they get off later in the day.

and so, as i watched them get on the bus for the very last day of this school year. i am very proud and full of gratitude as they have grown and excelled during yet another school year.

the sirens.

did i ever mention how much i dislike the sirens? the awfully loud tornado sirens that blare behind our house when a tornado may be near. at the very moment, they are blaring. it sends a chill through me and puts an empty pit in my stomach. i have now moved myself down to the safety of our basement trying not to think about my children who are at school right now. they are nervously taking cover too. it's during times when i'd like nothing more than to hold them tight and have them by my side.

change is okay.

today is a better day. i have never really been good at saying goodbye or with any type of change. however, i am accepting that change is okay. change can be good. and, that the unsettling feeling of letting go and saying goodbye will ease with each day. i know it will.

celebrating, thank you's and goodbyes.

life has been anything but quiet and calm. i knew the month of may would prove to be busy and hectic. but, when i look back at what we have been doing lately, it's been a lot of celebrating, giving thanks and goodbyes.

during the first week of may, we showed teachers our appreciation with a whole week of thank you's and gifts. followed by preparation for slade's first holy communion, which occurred during mother's day weekend. we celebrated here at home with a big party of family and friends. we were very thankful that so many of our family members traveled to share such a special day with us. and lucky for us, timing proved perfect, as it allowed us to celebrate both of our mom's for mother's day and with all of our siblings and children too.

then came sia's preschool graduation and a week of end of the year festivities. for me,  it was a very emotional week. we said goodbye to a school that we have been a part of for seven years.  i can hardly believe my baby is all done with preschool, but so proud and happy of the little girl she is growing up to be.  she is so ready for kindergarten.

the baseball season also came to an end. slade is loving baseball these days and i love to see his passion and ambition for the sport. we celebrated last week with an end of the season team party and came home with an awesome trophy. and so, we said goodbye to a great team of boys and coaches.

and, then this week. it has been a week of elementary school award ceremonies, parties and saying thank you (and goodbyes) to all of the teachers we love. elle earned the young artist award and wrote an award winning autobiography. her sense of creativity makes me smile with joy and i couldn't be more proud. and slade earned an award for outstanding excellence. it brings me such happiness to see how much they enjoy school and strive to excel.

and so, during our very busy month of may, i am a very, very proud mother, who has much to celebrate. i have so much gratitude for the family, friends and people that surround our lives. and although we have said many goodbyes, memories of the people and places will never be forgotten but a part of us forever.

a little secret.

 wanna know a little secret??

someday, i'd like to be a professional baker. although, i love to bake and do it whenever i can, i really would love to go back to school to learn all about baking and making sweets.  i know i am thinking BIG, but baking and being in my kitchen makes me happy. (and, so does pretty packaging too!)

this morning i came across these pictures of some items i baked and packaged for the preschool bake sale a couple of weeks ago. and, then i found this new online baking supply store, bake it pretty, and was even more inspired to dream and think BIG!

how about you ? is there anything you are dreaming BIG about these days??

hello monday.

today i'm just thinking, how much i love us...

and... how lucky i am to be so loved by an amazing husband and three sweet children. hope you are having a happy monday and perhaps are feeling very loved too.

pictures are from our front foyer. the i love us downloadable print can be found here.

readjusting.

i know it's been some time a really long time since i've posted anything.. more than a month to be exact. it's not that i forgot any of you. seriously, i have thought so many times of so many things i wanted to share, but i never took time to actually sit down to write anything. and, then the holidays came and went and yet i still shared nothing at all. really, forgive me.

when i first started this blog, right here,  it was because i was feeling a bit consumed by my daily life as a stay-at-home mom while jeff went to work more than 800 miles away from home. honestly, i was missing him tremendously. it was hard for all of us. the situation was not ideal, but it was what was necessary at the time. and so, i decided to blog to fill some of that void. i thought it would give me a reason to take some time each day for "me". i really wanted to focus on everyday simple happiness and i also wanted to share the things that bring me joy. what i didn't realize is how much i would love blogging. and, how i would find a love for following other people's blogs too. for me, i truly felt connected. i came across so many amazingly creative people and i found an outlet where i could share what inspires me, while also being inspired.  awesome, i know. 

fast forward, a couple of years later. this happened. it was really, really great news. actually the most wonderful news in a very long time. finally we would be together as a family. the happiness was overwhelming. but i also knew that there would be some readjusting for each one of us too. and so, that's where i've been- readjusting. it use to be after the kids were in bed, my mom duties of the day were complete and the house was extremely quiet that i would spend time writing a post or catching up on my google reader.

but now, very happily i have my husband back at home and my alone blogging time is now the time i absolutely love spending with jeff. and, i guess the busyness of the holidays, the kids being out of school, throw in a back surgery (for jeff) and a family trip too that i just fell completely out of sync. really, i felt very unorganized in my days. although, a part of me wanted to pull away from it all and get back, i just never made the time.

and so, while i am sorry i missed out on sharing so much, i am so thankful our family is all under one roof again. christmas was a very special time for us and we happily went to new jersey to celebrate the new year. it's gonna be a great new year. i vow to be more organized this year and focus on the things that matter most to me.  so, thank you for being patient as i was readjusting over here. but, finally i am back. i am ready to share my everyday simple happiness and the things that inspire me. i hope you'll find some happiness and inspiration too!! happy new year!

anxiously waiting.

last wednesday night, jeff arrived and he left again on monday morning. our long weekend together always brings a roller coaster of emotions. the excitement of seeing one another again... the contentment of just being together... the happiness of a family united... and then the struggle of saying goodbye. over a three year span, we've said goodbye dozens of times, yet it is never easy. jeff leaves and i have to find the strength again to be on my own. sometimes it takes me a day or two to get back into the flow of daily life at home without jeff here, but thoughts and dreams of us being back together as a family under one roof never leave my mind. i am anxiously waiting for that day to arrive.

{image via irenesuchocki}

i'm here. you're there.

perfectly said.
i am still missing my husband tremendously.

{image via yellowheartart}

stormy weather + togetherness.

it seems as if labor arrived and we quickly said goodbye to summer. it has been so dreary, dark and rainy since monday. i don't like this weather at all. especially, weather that creates tornadoes. and monday we had the perfect weather conditions for one.

i had been out buying paint when the tornado sirens began to blare. i had just walked into the store and employees and customers were being asked to take cover in a back training room. my heart stopped, i was alone. i had left my children at home with my mom and i didn't want to be away from them now. definitely not now. my first thought was, i needed to get home. i wanted to be at home. so yes, i disregarded the warnings, i left the store, got into my car and drove home. i was just in front of the tornado.

i now know a tornado definitely touched down not from where i had been and not far from our home at all. some of the homes in our neighborhood have been damaged and many trees are down. scary, yes. lucky, yes. thankful, yes. and very happy i was able to safely get home to be with my children. after i got home, the sirens continually went off, it continued to storm and we lost power, yet we were all together and i couldn't imagine it any other way.

heading home.

in just a few hours i will be on a flight heading back home... boy, do i miss my kids! although we have been talking via skype, i can't wait to hug them all. but now, i have to say goodbye. i will be missing my sweet husband once again. these past few days have been wonderful. side by side we have relaxed and savored every quiet minute together.

now, i am heading home to enjoy the last week of the summer break from school. yes, it's hard to believe, but my kids go back to school in just a week from this monday. the summer has gone by entirely too fast for us!

these pictures were taken during our vacation by the jersey shore. one evening as we walked home from dinner, we came upon an old church with a labyrinth. this man-made maze was formed from white oyster shells. slade, elle and sia excitedly raced to see who could make it to the center the quickest.

without children.

sometime during the middle of last week, i made a quick decision to book a flight to visit my husband in oklahoma. all weekend long i was very excited knowing i would be seeing the man i am completely in love with sooner than we both anticipated. and so, here i am. i arrived today. we'll be spending four days together. and... without children too.

this is the first time, i've ever packed and traveled without children in more than seven years. the first time i have been without children for more than just an evening. a part of me is already missing them so very much. i feel so far away. and it feels very strange. several times today, i've held back tears.

yet, i am loving that jeff and i have some time for just us- without children. it seems like its been forever of just being together. just the two of us. and today feels like the days when we first met. when we lived miles apart and fell in love. the excitement and anticipation of the next time we'd be together again. i am so looking forward the next few days of just being together.

{oklahoma wired landscape photograph/wall decal via kieshajean at etsy}

finding balance.

during the past couple of weeks, i feel as if i have somehow lost my sense of balance. so many balls have been thrown at me and i graciously have been trying to catch them all. i have hardly taken the time to do some of the things that i enjoy and inspire me. the things that give me balance and give me a sense of self.

when i started this blog, i did so to focus on the simple things that bring happiness to my world each day. the things that make me smile. things that bring me a great sense of gratification. inspiration. happiness. joy. i intended on focusing on all of those things each day. yet somehow, among the busyness of being a stay-at-home mom, i haven't found or made the time lately to even sit down and write a thing or two. i have dropped that ball. i haven't made time for me.

and so, as school is coming to an end this week, i finding my balance again. remembering me, making the time to do the things i enjoy and focusing on the simple joys of each day.

new day.

{print available at hellohalo}

i'm very happy it's a new day.

the sound of tornado sirens raced through my head all night long. even when they weren't going off i felt like i still heard them. the warnings make me so nervous. thankfully though, my girls slept peacefully. they didn't even realize i had carried them down into the basement to take cover. they slept through it all. slade woke up and was my sidekick on the couch all night. i didn't even mind that he was awake, i was just happy to have him by my side. we had the television on and watched the radar as one storm after another hit north and south of us. luckily and very thankfully, we were missed.

i was happy to see the sun shining and to hear the birds chirping this morning. yet, there is an after the storm stillness in the air and i'm still feeling a little shaken, especially seeing the devastating path of destruction left. storms, tornadoes and sirens are not my favorite. i'm very, very happy it's a new day.

lost.

i'm sorry that i have been out of touch for the past couple of days. i've been feeling a bit quiet. feeling a little lost in my heart. it usually happens this way after jeff leaves. it takes me a day or two and i find my way again. our lives move on.

today, this sense of lost has made me think a lot about japan and the devastation there. suddenly i am not feeling so lost anymore. and i cannot even imagine their feelings of extreme loss.

i don't know why this has been on my mind so much today. i thought about it a lot as i slowly moved around the house cleaning bedrooms and putting laundry away. i thought about how happy and thankful i am for our home. how i love making beds pretty and neatly placing clothes in drawers, while thinking about what i'll be making for dinner. how in a few hours, my children will get off the bus and i'll see their smiling faces as they run towards me and tell me something about their happy day. how we will go to sleep tonight in warm beds after praying, saying "i love you's" and good night to daddy. so many thoughts of how wonderfully fortunate we really are.

so, although my heart may be feeling a bit lost these days. i cannot imagine experiencing such devastation and the sense of loss as so many people in japan are feeling today.

{illustration by nanlawson}
{all proceeds go to japanese relief efforts}

thinking about.

it's sunny and warm today. yay! the weather is spring-like and the daffodils are starting to bloom. my kids are feeling much, much better after having a terrible stomach virus. our winter break from school continues til monday. and, i'm thinking about making these candy bar ice cream sandwiches to celebrate! i can hardly wait!!

{image via parents.com}

just a thought.

i think i said good-bye too many times this morning.

i thankfully hugged my sweet in-laws and said good-bye as they got into their car and headed back home after visiting for a week.

with teary eyes, i kissed and hugged my husband good-bye before he left home, boarded a plane and headed back to work.

at the bus stop, i waved goodbye to slade and elle as their bus pulled away and headed off to school.

and lastly, i dropped sia off at preschool and with a smiley, "i love you" good-bye she got out of the car and went with into the school with her teacher.

i am not really a fan of good-byes. perhaps we should always say "see you soon!" maybe then, some good-byes would be a little easier.

{cute custom luggage tags found here. i like these and these too.}